Principles of Economy

Principles of Economy



COWS

SOCIALISM:

You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.


COMMUNISM:

You have 2 cows
The government takes away both of them and gives you some milk.


FASCISM:

You have 2 cows.
The government takes away both of them and shoots you.


TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:

You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and your revenue rises.
You sell it all and plan your retirement with the money you have earned,
but in the meantime you go bankrupt on the stock market due
to ICTUC (International Cow Trade Unlimited Corporation) intervention.


AMERICAN CORPORATION:

You have 2 cows.
You sell one and force the other one to produce milk for 4 cows.
Later on you employ an expert to find out why your cow died.


FRENCH CORPORATION:

You have 2 cows.
You go on strike because you want 3 cows.


JAPANESE CORPORATION:

You have 2 cows.
You redesign them so that they are one-tenth of their original size and produce 20 times more milk than the original.
Then you produce a witty cartoon which you name COWAMON and advertise them all round the world.


GERMAN CORPORATION:

You have 2 cows.
You redo them so that they can live 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.



BRITISH CORPORATION:

You have 2 cows.
Both are mad.


ITALIAN CORPORATION:

You have 2 cows but you do not know where they are.
You take a lunch break.


RUSSIAN CORPORATION:

You have 2 cows.
You count them and realize you have 5 cows.
You count them again and realize again you have 5 cows.
You count them again and realize you have 42 cows.
You count them again and realize you have 2 cows.
You quit counting and open up another bottle of vodka.


CHINESE CORPORATION:

You have 2 cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim you have 100% employment rate, high milk quota
and you have a journalist who published the figures arrested.


INDIAN CORPORATION:

You have 2 cows.
You worship them until they die.


CROATIAN CORPORATION:

You have 2 cows.
You initial an agreement with a Slovene according to which you give him one cow for free.
All the while he steals your electricity and feeds his stock of off your land
And his bank claims that your money (which it stole from you) is a succession issue
Into which the given cow will also be included.
Then you say you do not wish to give him the cow.
He then harasses you.
While you are harassed by the Slovene,
your other neighbors (BiH, SiCG) realize you are busy and steal from you your other cow
which at the end dies.
However, while the neighbors were milking your cow,
They did not feed their own cows and they died.
As any good Croat you are happy because your neighbors have 2 dead cows
while you have only one.
Because you do not have any more money, you put your remaining cow to
IPO and sell 25% to a German with 51% decision rights.
The German leaves upon you to feed the cow, care for her and milk her
and he collect all the milk.
He lets you hope that one day you will be a part of EU.
The neighbors (BiH, SiCG) move in with you, or return to you, as they also hope to be EU.
A Committee for the Protection of Dignity of Croatian Cows is established,
which following first elections pacts with the moved-in neighbors.
They form the government and Croatia becomes additionally indebted as it buys 2 new cows.
Naturally, the loan – since it has most favorable conditions – comes from KfW
which takes a Slovene as a contractor who in turn
takes Serbs and Bosnians as sub-contractors – as they are the cheapest.

You are indebted up to your eyes for the next 200 years.